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15 December 2005 @ 08:51 pm
[Declarations...]  
Well! I have been a busy bunny-slave: I've started quite a bit of inthefire2002's very sadly belated birthday present, though it won't be posted anytime soon because I have for some reason written it all out and so have to type it all in later. >_<

Other than that, I've also been working on both my HP Music fic, my FY very dead fic, and... Roommate. XD

Warning: it's long, and it's not very funny... the only bit I really like is the last 3x4 bit. If anyone has ANY suggestions at all - please, drown me in them. Critique is absolutely welcome - why you didn't like what, what went wrong, what could have been phrased better, etc. I'm not afraid to admit that I need it. *_* Badly.



“Wake up, wake up, wake up…”

Duo groaned and flailed his arms in the general direction of the voice. “Shut up already!” he muttered. Then it hit him – only one person would be available to wake him up, and from what he knew of that person, there was no way he’d sound so… amiable.

He opened an eye.

Only to see a world of white as he was hit full in the face by a pillow.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up…” Another hit.

“I’m awake! I’m awake!” Duo shot upright just in time to meet the third downward swing of the pillow, which knocked him flat onto his back again. “Cut it out!”

The attack stopped, and Duo yelped as a strong hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him off the bed. “I’ve got the shower running already!” said a bright voice as Duo stumbled half-blind in the direction where hands on his back were pushing him. “Go right in and wake yourself up – we’ve got a long day ahead of us!”

So early in the morning, Duo’s brain could only come up with one tried-and-true line. “Who are you and what have you done with Heero?” he demanded.

“Ha ha, always the joker, Maxwell. Get in.”

He was shoved unceremoniously into the bathroom; the door slammed shut behind him. The air inside was warm and humid, and the mirror over the sink was fogged up. Still utterly confused, Duo stood there for a few seconds getting his bearings. Then he shrugged to himself.

“Go with the flow, Maxwell, go with the flow,” he said aloud. He quickly slipped out of his sweatpants and undid his braid, before hopping into the shower.

His scream promptly ripped through the entire floor.

Outside the door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked and sauntered out of the room. Phase One, Step One complete.

“Cold cold cold cold –” Duo’s teeth chattered as he tumbled out of the bathtub, arms wrapped around himself as he shivered. The water had been freezing. “What the hell,” he mumbled as he stuck a hand in and cranked the hot water tap way up. “It must have been Heero – that bastard.”

After waiting for a few minutes, however, he ascertained that the hot water was not coming. “Oh, great…” Taking a deep breath, Duo told himself firmly, “You can do it, Maxwell. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you lost because you couldn’t stand a little cold water.”

Another deep breath, and he jumped back into the water. I’d swear all my outer parts don’t exist anymore, if I couldn’t see them, he thought grimly as he grabbed his shampoo and swiftly washed his hair through once; his soap was next. Sod the conditioner, this time. I’m not that much of a masochist. Finished with his bath in much less than half the time he normally used, he hurried out of the cold water and dried himself, dashing into the bedroom to put on his underwear, long sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Once warmly covered, he let out a relieved sigh and flopped retrieved his towel from where he had carelessly tossed it just now in his haste. He wrapped it around his hair, and brought the entire mass over his shoulder to rub dry.

And froze, staring.

His second scream ripped through the entire building.

Outside the door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked even wider and sauntered into the kitchen. Step Two was complete.

Duo whimpered as he stared at the ghastly, garish, bright neon green nightmare that used to be his precious hair. With shaking fingers he tugged on a few strands and winced when he felt the slight pain in his scalp. “No…”

He stood and dashed to the door, flinging it wide open. “Yuy!” he howled down the corridor, shaking a dramatic fist at the air. “You will pay!”

And was shocked into silence when Heero suddenly appeared.

“Maxwell?” The Japansese man looked surprised. “That’s – your hair! What did you do to it?”

Duo sputtered. “What did I do –”

“Oh dear, don’t tell me I left the green dye in your room?” Heero exclaimed.

That made Duo blink. “Wha…?”

“I apologize,” Heero said solemnly. “I was planning to use that for an experiment… I have no idea how this happened.”

“Well, I do!” Duo got his wind back, and he waved a few admonishing green strands at Heero, ignoring the way they flopped about miserably. “You! Made me bathe in freezing cold water so I’d be in such a hurry that I wouldn’t check my bottles properly!”

“Cold water? But I turned the heater on, and made sure it was warm before I woke you up,” Heero protested, looking utterly confused and hurt.

It caused Duo to pause. Oh, he looks so cute like that… wait, wait. You’re getting distracted, Maxwell! “Why the sudden niceness?” he said suspiciously.

Heero shrugged a little. “I was… less than sociable yesterday. And you cleaned the kitchen all by yourself. I thought I owed you something.” A shadow covered his face then, and he turned away. “I guess if you don’t want to –”

“No, no, I want to,” Duo said hastily. “It’s no problem, really – I mean, the water made me wake up really fast, and, uh, I suppose the dye washes out…”

“It does,” Heero assured him, turning back.

“Good, good. I’ll just go back and wash –”

“After a week.”

“– it ack.” Duo choked. “A – a week!”

“I apologise.”

“Uh… no worries,” Duo said weakly, backing into the room. “I’ll just, uh, go dry my hair then… my neon green hair… my poor mutilated hair…”

Heero watched as Duo shut the door, mumbling under his breath. The instant the door shut, the contrite look left his face, replaced by a soon-to-be-uncontrollable smirk.

Step Three was an utter success.

He squooshed the niggling voice that muttered at him, Did you have to do that to his hair? It was such nice hair, too…

+++

They ate breakfast at a small café in an area that made Duo edgy – he got the feeling that people were staring at him. When he mentioned it to Heero, the Japanese man shrugged.

“It’s the green,” he said simply.

Duo just nodded, though something told him that the way they were looking at him was not so much of ‘ooh, look at his hair’, but ‘ooh – look at him’.

He’d noticed people giving Heero those sort of looks, too, but Heero didn’t seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary, so he ignored it as well.

Barely.

Heero finished his meal earlier than Duo, and stood. “Bathroom. Be back in a while.”

He left the table and headed to the back of the café, returning a few minutes later. Duo quickly swallowed the last bite of his food, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and stood, beaming at Heero. “Shall we go?”

They rose from the table and left the café after Heero paid for both their meals. When they had walked a few paces away from the entrance, though, Heero stopped. “Oh, great, I forgot something in the bathroom… I’ll be right back. You wait here,” he ordered, and jogged off.

Duo rolled his eyes at his retreating back and stuck his tongue out. “Bleh. What am I, a dog?”

“If you are, you’re a very pretty one,” a voice purred in his ear.

“And some people might take that tongue as an invitation,” another voice murmured in his other ear.

“Hey, nice hair,” said a third voice. “Have you tried using it as rope?”

Duo’s third scream of the day ripped through the entire street.

Inside the café door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked even wider and slipped into the bathroom at the back. Step Four? No problem.

He waited.

Five minutes later, Duo, his hair coming out of his braid and clothes in a mess, hurtled into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He leaned against the door and simply panted, eyes wild.

Heero raised an eyebrow.

Duo jabbed a shaking, accusing finger at him. “You!” he exclaimed.

Heero tilted his head to the side, looking puzzled.

Aw, isn’t he adorable?

Shut up, bunny-boy, now is not the time.


His mental voice grumbled. When is it ever the time?

I’ll let you know. Now shut up.


He jabbed once more in Heero’s direction for good measure. “You let me get mobbed by gay bondage freaks! What the hell were you doing all this time in a bathroom, anyway!”

Heero stared, and then pointed at one of the stalls.

“Oh. Yeah.” Duo was temporarily derailed. “Well, be faster next time!”

“What happened?”

“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened! There were all these men grabbing me and giving me lewd proposals… did you know, one wanted to play bondage with my hair! And then they suggested something about dildos and my hair!”

Heero was having a really hard time concealing his smirk. Somehow he managed it. “Oh dear.”

“I’ll give you ‘oh dear’,” Duo muttered.

“You have something against homosexuals?”

No, mainly because I’m one myself…but I can’t let you know that now, can I? Duo just shook his head. “I don’t, but getting mobbed by them? No thank you.”

Heero wondered at the slight relief that he felt at Duo’s words. Why would I care about his opinions of me? He pushed that feeling and that thought out of his mind as he watched Duo cross over to the mirror and wince at his reflection.

“Great, my braid’s a mess.” Duo pulled off the tie and slid it around his wrist, then finger-combed his hair out, still ranting, but his words faded into the background as Heero caught the first traces of Duo’s shampoo. It smelt… nice. Soft and not at all invading like some perfumes; a trace of vanilla, some wildflowers…

He didn’t realize he’d moved from his position near the wall to stand right behind Duo, who trailed off when he realized Heero not only wasn’t listening, he was standing behind him. Duo didn’t speak, though, only watched with wide eyes as Heero lifted a hand to run his fingers through the strands.

It’s still so soft, even with the dye… Guilt ran through Heero, then, for the dye trick. What if I’d ruined his hair? He moved his hand higher, running his fingers through the hair down the length of Duo’s back.

Duo almost purred with the feeling. So gentle… is that what Heero’s like when he lets his guard down? Suddenly he wanted so badly to touch Heero as well, to feel the strength underneath the gentleness.

Then Heero realized what he was doing, and dropped his hand like Duo’s hair was poison. With a curse under his breath, he backed away, not meeting Duo’s gaze in the mirror as he said aloud, “I’ll wait for you outside.”

He left.

Duo stared at the closed door, the memory of Heero’s hands stroking his hair still lingering. “Ah, damn,” he sighed. “I’m losing it, aren’t I?”

You’re not supposed to get involved with him, his mental bunny reminded him. Remember Quatre the split personality blond? He’d kill you. And you’d lose not only a place to stay, but part of your income.

“I know,” Duo grumbled as he began braiding his hair. “But… he might be worth it…”

Or you might let yourself get hurt, all over again.

He let out a slow breath, staring at the green hair in his hands. “Yeah,” he said softly. “And I swore never to be so stupid, didn’t I?”

Done with his hair, he took a deep breath and winked at himself in the mirror. “No getting attached, Duo old boy,” he reminded himself. “Especially to someone so cold as Heero Yuy.”

Bringing his smile back up, Duo bounded out of the bathroom in search of his roommate.

+++

“Tadaima!” Duo called cheerfully as he opened the door to their apartment.

“There’s no one in the house, Maxwell.”

“I know, but it gives me that nice warm feeling…” Duo turned to grin at Heero, but his grin faltered as the Japanese man moved to his study without a word. He watched as Heero opened the door, and retrieved a box from inside.

“Catch,” was the only warning Duo got before the box was tossed at him.

“Oof, what’s in this?” Duo held up the box and rattled it, hearing metallic sounds from inside. “Ooh, a present for me? You’re too kind, Heero!”

He opened the box.

Inside it… was his amplifier. In pieces.

Oh, shit.

Duo looked up at Heero, feigning puzzled innocence. “What’s this?”

Heero’s glare made Duo cringe. Ooh, that’s scary.

“You know what it is,” Heero snapped. “Don’t pretend otherwise.” Then his glare changed to a small smirk as he added, “Take it as my last gift to you, today.” Phase One, final step: complete.

“Last… gift? Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no…” A horrified look slowly spread across Duo’s face, along with realization. “Your behaviour today – the dye, the gay masochists…”

“You wake me up with ice cold water – I wake you up with ice cold water. You ruin my kitchen – I ruin your hair. You cause me to be harassed by firemen – I cause you to be harassed by, as you put it, gay masochists. I found that amplifier last night, and since you used it to irritate me – I give it back to you in pieces.” Heero shrugged. “Never let it be said that I am unfair. An eye for an eye, Maxwell.”

Duo was shaking his head slowly in unwilling admiration, a half-grin on his lips. “That’s… almost poetic, really. Man, you had me fooled, Yuy! I thought your behaviour this morning was entirely out of character for you, but I wrote it off as my not knowing you well… seems like my first impression is still spot-on.”

Heero raised an eyebrow. “You’re right. I am who I am, and you cannot change that. Quatre couldn’t, all these years he knew me – I’m surprised he thought you can.”

Duo gaped at him.

“Yes, Maxwell. I know about your deal with him. I heard your phone call in the kitchen yesterday.”

“So… all this…” Duo gestured at the amplifier, then pulled his hair over his shoulder to stare mournfully at it. “I see. But did you have to involve my hair? It’s an innocent bystander!”

“So was my kitchen,” Heero countered.

Duo grabbed his braid in his fist and flopped it at Heero. “But my hair! What did she ever do to you?”

“You murdered my kitchen, Maxwell,” Heero said, eyes narrowed. “Be glad I didn’t chop your hair off.”

Duo gasped in horror and cradled his braid protectively. “You wouldn’t!”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Heero agreed, to Duo’s surprise. “Since we’re even now.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Then –

“Open war?”

“Open war.”

They shook hands. Heero then retreated to his study, while Duo went to his bedroom and flipped open his phone. He had to call Quatre; the blond had some wicked ideas.

Open war had been declared – no mercy would be given.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, Quat.”

“Duo! How’s your day been? Any progress?”

“Well – it depends on your point of view…”

+++

“Barton speaking.”

“Trowa. Were you in on it?”

“…I’m sorry, Heero. I tried to stop him.”

“And?”

“He made me sleep on the couch for a week.”

“Ouch. Alright. Now?”

“Back in bed. I still can’t –”

“We’ve declared open war.”

“…Ah. That changes things. I’ll call Wufei.”

“The old place, in an hour.”

“Done. See you there.”

“Likewise.”

+++

“Trowa, love?”

The tall, green-eyed Latino turned to face his blond lover. “Yes, Quatre?”

The smaller man gave him the hurt-puppy look, blue eyes wide. “Well, I was thinking, we don’t spend much time with each other nowadays…”

Trowa’s lips twitched.

Quatre huffed. “Oh, alright, we don’t spend as much time together as I’d like.”

“Kitten, to spend any more time together we’d have to be glued to each other.”

“Even so…” Quatre leaned against the doorframe, angling his body to show it off. “Being glued together sounds… fun.”

Trowa had to smile at that. “I’d love to, normally, but I have to say… you’re too late, Quatre.” He held up his phone and smirked.

The blond immediately lost his seductive air and threw up his hands. “Well, it was worth a try,” he said grumpily to his amused lover, and then fished his phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear. “Hello, Duo – stop laughing, I was doing it to help you – Duo! …Better. Okay, so he’s officially on Heero’s side, now – hmm, maybe…”

“Wufei, too,” Trowa put in helpfully.

Quatre made a face at him. “Drat, they move fast – they’ve already gotten Wufei, he’s Heero’s other friend. Well, I’m out of options for now – let’s get together and discuss it. There’s this restaurant… hmm? Oh, okay, I’ll look for it. Meet you there in, say, an hour? Perfect. Okay, see you later!”

Trowa moved to wrap his arms around his lover, resting his chin on Quatre’s head, as the blond kept his phone. “Since it’s open war, and all’s fair… I still have half an hour before I have to leave.”

Quatre turned in his arms to smile at him. “I should punish you, you know,” he informed Trowa with mock severity.

Trowa smirked. “Then by all means, punish me… if you can.”

“What do you mean, if I – mmph. Mmm…”

+++



On a random note, I just realized that the reviews I've been getting are less of the !!11!!!UPDAET SOON! OMG I LUV U!! kind of reviews, and also less of the generic 'That's so funny/nice/great!' kind of reviews, but more of the longer, more thoughtful kind of reviews that ask questions or point out stuff in the story, so that I know they actually read and really appreciated. It makes me all gooey inside. ^_^ And also, thanks to all my friends here who cheered me up before. (:

*hugs all the lovely people*

Whee.

[Ashen][...of Open War.]
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Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Naruto - Wind
 
 
 
hellfire_angel/Hells-angel8hellfire_angel on December 16th, 2005 03:22 am (UTC)
Awesome chapter! I'm glad you updated this one again, even though with all the crazy things that have been going on lately. I hope all is better for you, for the time being.

I love the humorous exchange between all the characters. It's nice to see humor instead of angst for a change. (I wrote more to this before but LJ didn't like it and deleted it) *Kicks LJ*

BTW- If you want a holiday card, just post your address in my last post and I'll send you a card. It's comment protected, so don't worry. *Hugs you tight*
Ashenashenskies on December 16th, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
You found it funny! *beams madly* thank god, I was so worried this chapter would come out weird. o.O;

and also - thank you. *hugs* Things're better now! and hopefully it'll last. (:

eh, my real address? I wouldn't mind giving it, but I think we're on different continents and it'd cost you... you could email instead. :p
hellfire_angel/Hells-angel8hellfire_angel on December 16th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
Yep, your real address. I don't mind the cost. I have to send some cards over to Japan and Thailand as well, so I don't mind. It might get there a bit late, but we can always count it as a New Years card too. ^_^ *hugs*
Ashenashenskies on December 17th, 2005 06:45 am (UTC)
*tears up* that is so nice of you! *glomps* do you have your own add somewhere around? if I can figure out the mysteries of inter-continental posting I'd like to send you one, too, and some other people I know. and I could give you my add in a reply to your reply to this post, if you wouldn't mind.
hellfire_angel/Hells-angel8hellfire_angel on December 17th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
Sure, go right ahead. I'll e-mail you my address if I can find your e-mail on your bio page, or I'll leave it in another comment if I can't.
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