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12 January 2006 @ 07:05 pm
[Never age...]  
Never age. Never die. Live for ever in that one last white-hot moment, when the crowd screamed. When every note was a heartbeat. Burn across the sky.

You will never grow old. They will never say you died.

That's the deal. And you will be the greatest musician in the world.

Live fast.

Die young.

The quotes are from Terry Pratchett's Soul Music.

Whew. One more day to go... the past two weeks seem like a lifetime. The days seem to stretch endlessly, and my memory's already fading. I can just remember the awkwardness, the laughter, the growing comfortability with each other, the easy way we were talking come the end, taste the companiable silence... and now we hardly see each other, and hardly talk. And that also goes for those friends who, just a few weeks back, were so close. Friends from last year, and the year before.

I find that all I'm doing is waiting and sleeping. I've never felt this tired after doing nothing in school except waiting and going to the occasional lecture. Waiting for the lessons to start. Waiting for the canteen queues to shorten. Waiting in the canteen queues for food. Waiting for friends to come. And then I go home, and conk out on the bed after lunch 'til dinner. Like a pig. *_*

I miss my friends already. Surrounded by scenes of amity, of bustling activities, seeing the OGs going around together... it's lonely to not be able to find anyone to sit with, wait with. Lonely, and sad, and though I love the rain it's not helping moods any by Not Stopping For An Entire Week.

So while I wait, I read. I'm going to treasure this week since I have no illusions that next week's going to be so easy as this one. I've gone through so many brilliant books, some of which I read before but still love. Like of course, Terry Pratchett's books. I probably won't have the time to do something like this again. And writing, or reading fics, or checking my flist's LJs - all impossible to find time for.

And then there's the problem of CCAs.

I wanted him to live for me.

'You wanted him to die for you!'

What is the difference? He would would be dead anyway. But to die in music... People will always remember the songs he never had the chance to sing. And they will be the greatest songs of all.

Live your life in a moment.

And then live for ever. Don't fade away.

[Ashen][...Never die.]
Current Mood: tiredtired
(Deleted comment)
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC)
^_^ for some reason, after I finished the book, I was thinking: 'ern has to read this, despite the fact that I don't often see her with a novel'. so yes. you need to read the book. that depth of feeling about music is just so... you. (:
(Deleted comment)
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
it's a library book... waitlemmecheck, due feb 1st. can you read it by then? ^_^
theotherdigit on January 12th, 2006 01:28 pm (UTC)
That's Pratchett? Seriously o_o? I don't remember him being so ... [shivers] ... dark.
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 12:48 pm (UTC)
Practchett is *always* dark, which is what I love about him... he hides his cynicism and darkness inside this sarcastic humour, though lately the dark in his books is getting more obvious. X3

*adds as an afterthought* it's so nice to see that so many people on LJ read Pratchett... only one or two of the friends I know read him.
theotherdigit on January 13th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
Heh, I'm pretty sure that my flist is where I heard about Pratchett in the first place XP. And yeah, I've noticed that he's always darkly humorous, it's just that these quotes are pretty much only dark, with no humour ^~^;. Then again, maybe he's that too and I've just never noticed because of the overall feel of his books u_u;.
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
actually, I think his humour actually emphasizes the dark. his humour's great, the best kind (ie. not slapstick, etc) but it's just... a way to set off the sheer brilliance of his dark mind. I've always felt his books as dark with a sidedish of humour. *_* maybe... different readers, different tastes, different interpretations?
theotherdigit on January 13th, 2006 01:53 pm (UTC)
maybe... different readers, different tastes, different interpretations?

Which is the case with pretty much anything, isn't it ^_^? Personally I've always considered it to be a package deal, with both the darkness and the humour having the same importance, 'cuz his books just wouldn't be the same with either missing XP.
Ashenashenskies on January 14th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
you're right, of course. TP books have so many elements to them, and they all can't do without one another. XD whee. which mini-series in the discworld do you like best? mine's the Nightwatch series, then Death, then the witches... and I avoid Rincewind like the plague.
theotherdigit on January 14th, 2006 11:59 am (UTC)
Actually, I'm kinda new to the series ^0^;. So the only books I've read so far are Colour Of Magic, Reaper Man, Small Gods and Thief Of Time. And I just got started on Guards! Guards!. Out of which my favorite is probably SG, followed by RM, COM, and ending with TOT. So I have yet to read any City Watch or Witches books ^~^;. As for Rincewind ... I think I read a comment somewhere that said that most people either love or hate him. The only Rincewind book I read so far is COM, so maybe it's not enough to judge by, but I did like it XP.
Ashenashenskies on January 15th, 2006 01:23 am (UTC)
...you HAVEN'T read any watch or witches books? O.O noooo.

okay, here are the books you absolutely? absolutely have to read.

NIGHT WATCH. nothing more need be said.

Going Postal is not in a mini-series, but it's brilliant. the depth of feeling about words will resonate with any writer/reader.

his newest book, Thud! is the best, but since it's new you might not find it in the library, but you have have have to read it. XD

jingo is another good one. feet of clay, too, and then soul music (which I just read) are also good. oh, and the fifth elephant.

other non-mini series books - I recc monstrous regiment. it's really good.

(I shall Not Comment on your liking rincewind, but I think that what you said - it's either hate him or like him - is very true.) and I shall stop here, because this is getting ridiculous. (:
theotherdigit on January 15th, 2006 01:31 am (UTC)
I'm a rec whore, so thank you very much for those XDDDDD! [appreciates] As for Thud! not being in the library ... I have a $60 fine on my library card which I've been avoiding paying off for over 2 years now. And yes, I have every intention to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can. So most books I read are ones that I've bought anyway ^~^;.
(Anonymous) on January 23rd, 2006 09:04 am (UTC)
...a sixty dollar fine. >_< woo. so... you're never borrowing books again in your life. XD
theotherdigit on January 23rd, 2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
No, well, I'm sure I'll have to pay it at some point >_>. [...] Or I could just use my sister's and mom's cards XP. [wonders whether there's any she can get another card by giving a different address or something]
Ashenashenskies on January 24th, 2006 12:39 pm (UTC)
I have a friend in the same situation, and she's trying to hold out for the rest of her life. XD if you're going to pay it at some point... wouldn't it be better to do it earlier before it gets too bad? ¬_¬
nimaime on January 12th, 2006 11:54 pm (UTC)
Umm..[pats] Ashen] Hope the rain stops..and you find someone to wait with~
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 12:50 pm (UTC)
The rain's stopped, thank goodness. thanks! (: and for some reason, that second half of the sentence is just beautiful... *loves* and though I didn't find anyone to wait with, I hope that'll change sooner or later. ^_^
hellfire_angel/Hells-angel8hellfire_angel on January 13th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
Poor Ashen! *pets* I usually feel pretty much zapped of all my energy after my classes and work on the same day. The Terry Pratchet books sound interesting to read and should take up some time. Best things to do about life is to not dwell on the things that make you stressed out; for a while it's great to rant about them, but don't let them take over your life. *Hugs you tight*

Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 12:52 pm (UTC)
so it's not just me who gets all drained. XD that's good to know! and I didn't realize my post sounded so angsty. :p the sunny day today helped matters a lot, though. *hugs* thanks for the advice, and I'm following it - I'm getting over things. (:
hellfire_angel/Hells-angel8hellfire_angel on January 13th, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC)
Glad to help! *Hugs* ^_^
jing_ijing_i on January 13th, 2006 09:58 am (UTC)
I second Ern! I so need to read this. Though I always thought he wrote more humour. Darn, I'm already outta money for buying books.

Haha I can't really say don't worry about it things will definitely get better since I've known people whom things didn't get better for.. But hey, the rain's stopped! And if you really can't find someone, go bug ern.
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 12:57 pm (UTC)
I'll give you the advice you gave me: borrow from the library! XD

I wonder why people think Pratchett is more humour... I always find his books deliciously dark. though the humour sugarcoats it a little, sometimes it actually serves to emphasize the cynicism.

I've known people whom things didn't get better for
EEP. *_* that's scary. but hey - like you said, the rain's stopped! (: *wanders off to bug ern*

were you at the Jap club booth the day of CCA fest thingy?
jing_ijing_i on January 13th, 2006 01:04 pm (UTC)
Haha that's only for books that I don't wanna keep.. Never mind, I should utilise my dad's credit card and my Kino card more. *happy look*

I don't know why I had that impression, considering I've never read his books before. Probably cos pple tend to pick out his humourous quotes more..

Haha that's not too many lar. Mostly it does get better. And well, JC is kinda like Hollywood if you understand what I mean, all about image and being bored. Bah. Hehx I sound like I hate it, but I really don't.

Hehx, I think I went out with my friend that day. But I'll probably be around when club activities start. You joining?
Ashenashenskies on January 13th, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)
yeah, but you should maybe read first? and then if you like, you buy the book to read whenever you want.

you can use a CREDIT CARD. *is envious*

you've never read TP before? *_______* oh my. you don't know what you're missing! go read. go read go read go read. XD

I wish I could join, but there's a stupid rule about how you can only join two CCAs and more than that you have to apply to the school and they'll review indiv cases, and ALSO parental problems are in the way. so. ;_; can I crash sessions? like a real member, but just not official.
jing_ijing_i on January 13th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Haha I need his signature of course.. Though I can prob get one this year or sth..

Haha nah, the quotes look good so I'll probably get it.. I've got a backlog of books to read as it is so haven't gotten ard to him yet.

There's that kinda weird rule? I remember last yr most pple joined like 7 ccas at a go.. This yr's admin's screwed.. But haha yeah I think uou can just come on down lar, they probably won't mind. If they do, I'll kick them outta the way for you, I'm told I can get pretty scary..
Ashenashenskies on January 14th, 2006 05:06 am (UTC)
...you probably can get - a CREDIT CARD this year? *_* noooo.

seeing how my schedule for next week looks like, I wonder how anyone finds time to do anything personal like reading. >_< *squints at timetable* it looks like a minefield. *pats* good luck. :D

yeah, they posted the notice on CCAs up on the noticeboard in the canteen area. >_< I might apply, but with my grades (and my parents)... if I can't, anyway, I'll crash. XD have to ask the chairpeople first, though. I don't think it'll get to the level of threats, but if it does, I'll rely on you! *grins* thanks. though before that I might ask you or ernie to ask the chairs.
jing_ijing_i on January 14th, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
Haha well I make time for reading. Which kinda explains my grades. But oh well, science sucks. Hope you're not making the mistake of taking it. Hehx, kidding.

I think the school admin's being really screwed this year. They've like made the white-slip system ridiculous and the teachers are taking particular sadistic pleasure outta the changes. If you compare most of the j2's skirt lengths this yr and last yr you'll get a mild shock.

That aside, the chairs are pretty bullyable hehx. And the girls will probably be mroe than happy to get someone to fangirl with.
Ashenashenskies on January 15th, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
I'm in the arts stream! XD *cheers* I'm too smart to take science, whee. :P first lesson the bio and chem people already had notes and work they had to go through, poor things. XP

uh... I thought the skirts were already - quite short. *_* no? ack. *imagines last year and dies*

YES the white slip thing is stupid. >_< do you know edmund kwok? he's SCARY. so strict.

are there many guys in the anime club? for some reason I pictured an overwhelming majority of girls. and I noticed you like Peacemaker... you guys had the artbook, and they were watching the anime (Souji! Souji! XD and SUZUMU. *_*) during the CCA fest thing.
jing_ijing_i on January 15th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
Darn you.. I seriously regret taking science now. The hell?!?! Physics and math just suck all my brain juices outta me. The only stuff I manage not to fail are econs and gp. Big surprise there.

Haha you think the skirts are already short? Oh boy, you have no idea. Last year some RI boy wrote in to complain that our skirts were too short and he didn't know where to look when we walked past the school. Hilarious. And yes, that guy's strict. But funny too.

I think there's quite a fair number of guys since we do non-anime stuff as well. Besides, you have no idea how big a following Bleach has amongst guys. Yeah, Peacemaker rocks. My guys friends like it too.. Until I told them that in the continuation, Suzumu became a boy toy of sorts.
Ashenashenskies on January 23rd, 2006 09:08 am (UTC)
he didn't know where to look when we walked past the school
priceless! XD that is SO CUTE. moo ha ha ha.

yeah, everyone seems to love bleach for some reason. from what I've heard of it - fighting tournaments sorta stuff - it sounds boring. >_<

BOY TOY BOY TOY. *is in love with suzumu already* XD
jing_ijing_i on January 23rd, 2006 11:29 am (UTC)
Are you kidding me? Bleach is good stuff.. Seriously, one of the only anime worth watching recently.

I take it you haven't read PMK yet..
Ashenashenskies on January 24th, 2006 12:49 pm (UTC)
bleach is good? hmm. *raises eyebrow* okay... though I won't have time to watch. BAH humbug.

I watched a few bits of PMK. until the part where the weird american dreadlocked guy first sneaks into the compound and confuses the hell out of tetsunosuke (?) with that whole peacemaker thing. I've seen enough of suzumu and souji to love though! XD

oh, and - I feel like crying - I won't be able to join jap club. ;_; chorale clashes, damn it. noooo.